I’m No Economist, But…

CB24 News reports: “Canadian dollar moves lower amid worries in Europe.”

Ok, I’m no economist, but, why is the Loonie getting screwed over by worries over in Europe?  (For all readers outside Canada, the ‘Loonie’ is the official name of the Canadian dollar. I live in a country that names its currency after a crazy person. The two dollar coin is of course called the ‘twonie’.  So, when you’re talking loonie twonie, you’re talking Canadian economics.)

And now I’m hearing that my loonies and twonies are getting shock treatment because of some European worries? Why should worries in Europe affect reality here in Canada? Can’t you see they’re making all this shit up? Like, is the whole goddamn work as fragile as that? Does the economy have the sensitivity of the Tao? I mean, ‘worries’ in Europe? We’re basing our well-being on the fears of foreigners? Holy Hannah harboring a hand grenade, the Bhutanese are feeling a might bit edgy- quick- lower the standard of living! What’s that? the Fijians are feeling a tad bit squeamish? Lock all doors! Lower the GDP!

Money is only as important as we choose to make it. I’m choosing to replace the importance of money with hugs. You want a coffee? That’s one hug. You wanna buy a house? That’s one million and three hundred thousand hugs. I’m telling you, an international currency based on the hug would bring world peace. You have governments trading hugs with each other. One American hug is worth one hundred Japanese hugs. That’s not racist, that’s just economics.

I know if I am the only one who thinks like this, I am crazy. But. If the majority thought like this, I am sane. I ask you, My Favorite Reader, to consider the hug as the new form of financial transaction.


5 thoughts on “I’m No Economist, But…

  1. Steven Myers

    LIVL…..that’s laughing inside very loud.
    this is wonderful funny.
    i’d go for as few hugs as possible
    to keep the market from saturating
    and coffee getting watered down,
    but when a rare hug happens,
    like a pirates division crown,
    it really feels like a bridge is crossed.

    1. cottonbombs Post author

      Exactly. One million and three hundred thousand hugs. You know how long that would take? How often would you move if you knew you had to commit to 1,300,00 hugs? It would reduce impulse buys: ‘Sure, I want that bag of chips, but, do I really want to hug the cashier twice?’
      The Pirates… any time I see someone wearing a Pirates hat, or a Cubs hat I feel like I should give them a hug. Those hats seem like cries for help.

  2. granbee

    LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the idea of the hug as the new currency! You are so brilliant upon occasion, dear Peter! Now with regard to “the global economy”, go ask the Chinese, for they are holding most of the cards in this game, I hear!


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