Monthly Archives: July 2014

Insanity For Dummies

Defining sanity

is a waste of time

cause the insane are convinced they know what time it is

when only the sane need to check to see

the need to check their watch

then laugh at everything

all the while thinking it’s yesterday

when their watch today says so clearly it’s tomorrow.

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Let There Be Dark

Darkness was doing just fine without light

as memory was managing alright before it was told of last night’s tragedy

of the plane crash made memory

yesterday

we weren’t even there to remember

it doesn’t matter

when the one you love

went down

swallowed by ground

though we know

we all go south

eventually

death always has such poor timing

though hope can always be stored in the overhead compartment

we never know which direction we will go

could be north

could be south

so pack your parka

and bikini.

 

 

 

Lake Baikal

The lake is fed by as many as 330 inflowing rivers.[4] The main ones draining directly into Baikal are the Selenga River, the Barguzin River, the Upper Angara River, the Turka River, the Sarma River and the Snezhnaya River. It is drained through a single outlet, the Angara River.

You don’t get to be the deepest lake in the world

without taking in at least 330 rivers

Lake Baikal is deep

1642 meters deep

 

 

 

Fishing For Whales

What do you tell someone

who had caught a blue whale

at the end of his line

and then lost it

“There’s bigger fish in the sea?”

Forgetting that a whale ain’t no fish

no there’s not

that was it.

That was your chance at catching the big one

sure, you could cast your line again

and maybe you could even snag a baby beluga whale

but, Ishmael

your whale has sailed.

Now what?

Can you make do with a minnow?

If Everything Is Relative Then Relative Is Nothing

Someone just told me I only use 10% of my brain

what he doesn’t know is I rent the other 90% out as an ant farm.

I just decided what I want to be when I grow up

a kid

but kids today don’t have pen pals

like microwaves make food faster but not healthier

we have turned correspondence into instant popcorn

I teach my students: Nothing worth learning can be taught in a classroom

then in brackets I write: (You didn’t learn that here.)

Sobriety is relative

most of my relatives are drunk. Me? I’m relatively sober.

The last time I threw a paper airplane made from a laptop out the window I nearly killed a guy.

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound?

If that tree falls again

it’s just looking for attention.