Greatest Post Since My Last Post

“Greatest thing since sliced bread”

bread was first sliced in 1928

therefore 1928 was the greatest year ever

until you hear

that sliced bread was advertised as:

“The Greatest Forward Step in the Baking Industry since Bread Was Wrapped.”

So, the day bread was wrapped must be even greater than the day it was sliced

cause if the day bread was sliced was better than the day it was wrapped

they would have just advertised it as the greatest day ever.

So, why don’t we say: ‘it’s the greatest thing since bread was wrapped’?

And really how great has it been since bread came sliced anyway?

Sliced bread means more people eating more breads and spreads

like jams and jellies and jiggling bellies

swinging like lazy hammocks

over our bathing suits.

“The greatest thing since the treadmill”

might be the phrase to get us back in shape.


6 thoughts on “Greatest Post Since My Last Post

    1. cottonbombs Post author

      The Atkins diet tells its followers to give up bread. To me, bread is just too integrated in to my diet to say, “Good bye, bread!” Even linguistically, bread means money, meaning, I can’t give that up, either. Tell that someone that there’s guy in Canada who wants to know his secret.

      1. kvennarad

        No secret. His doctor told him to lose 2 and a half stone in two years. He lost it in 6 months and lost 11 inches off his waist. He just cut out bread (but kept eating potatoes, rice, and pasta) and had slightly smaller portions of everything, making sure he had his quota of fruit and vegetables every day.

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