If Everything Is Relative Then Relative Is Nothing

Someone just told me I only use 10% of my brain

what he doesn’t know is I rent the other 90% out as an ant farm.

I just decided what I want to be when I grow up

a kid

but kids today don’t have pen pals

like microwaves make food faster but not healthier

we have turned correspondence into instant popcorn

I teach my students: Nothing worth learning can be taught in a classroom

then in brackets I write: (You didn’t learn that here.)

Sobriety is relative

most of my relatives are drunk. Me? I’m relatively sober.

The last time I threw a paper airplane made from a laptop out the window I nearly killed a guy.

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound?

If that tree falls again

it’s just looking for attention.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “If Everything Is Relative Then Relative Is Nothing

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s