Someone just told me I only use 10% of my brain
what he doesn’t know is I rent the other 90% out as an ant farm.
I just decided what I want to be when I grow up
but kids today don’t have pen pals
like microwaves make food faster but not healthier
we have turned correspondence into instant popcorn
I teach my students: Nothing worth learning can be taught in a classroom
then in brackets I write: (You didn’t learn that here.)
Sobriety is relative
most of my relatives are drunk. Me? I’m relatively sober.
The last time I threw a paper airplane made from a laptop out the window I nearly killed a guy.
If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, does it make a sound?
If that tree falls again
it’s just looking for attention.