Bombing In Germany

We adapt or we die

in comedy and in tragedy

we must adjust old jokes to new audiences

in this no man’s land of stand up comedy

that kills live

where I might only middle

or worse, die

by a crowd of a thousand Germans

who think their English is up to snuff

(an idiom they use frequently)

to have hired me as their comedy Emcee

and I’m bombing because no one understands me

or my double meanings

to words such as: French, duck, jerk, get, make, take, put, go, saurerkraut

and ultimately it’s my fault

cause it’s my job to make these people laugh

so I need to size my audience up fast

and hit them with punchlines they’ll get

I think of Chaplin

and think to go physical

silence resonates loudest

for a joke to be universal

problem is I’m outta shape

so if I go physical

I’m liable to hurt myself

funny how funny is based on pain

cause no one laughs at the man standing up

but if I trip over this microphone chord and fall down

I’m bound to get some sort of reaction

and because the pain of failing is greater than the pain of falling

I trip over this microphone chord and wipe out on stage

and pick up my first laugh in Berlin.

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