Still waiting for the Pope’s first tweet.
I understand God must be silent
but, come on, Pope!
Give us some gossip!
Who are you wearing?
Who’d you have dinner with?
What is Your Holiness’s opinions on what’s trending?
How does His Holiness feel about #RitaWhora?
Lead me, oh Your Holiness past the temptations of having to respond to every trend
deliver us from the evil of killing time
where I find I’m spending all afternoon trying to think up my next tweet
and unwritten poetry sits on the top shelf of my mind
never seeing the light of a computer screen
the next Bible will be written on Twitter
you just wait and see
I don’t expect it to be by me
I’m too busy trying to come up with a pithy 140 characters
let’s murder more time finding out
that a Kardashian is being talked about for something sexual
why is this news?
Now my head is polluted with more rubbish
and the only way to dump it is to write about it
and now here I am
writing about the Kardashian’s
though I’ve never seen their show
I haven’t even seen one of their sex tapes
yet here I am exposing myself to them
(and you too!)
save me, Pontiff from the lineage of St. Peter!
For thine is your Twitterdom!
The power! and the glory!
forever and ever