I’ve Lost Control

I’ve lost control

of my fastball

of my curveball

of my forkball

I’ve lost them all.

Nineteen years ago

I had the meanest sinker in the city

mean enough to make the city team

that pitch and I had a lot of good times together

she last left my hand

when I was eighteen

that was nineteen years ago

now wearing number 3 playing at the age of thirty-seven

I find I have lost control

of pitches I used to toss like magic

fastball, curveball, forkball

all coming at you

with the ferocity



and anti-gravity

and years of practice

taught me how to turn

a ball into a strike

but now all I can throw is ball four

where has my command gone?

Two months ago I blamed the lack of practice

today it’s hard to blame a lack of practice

when I’ve had two months of practice

doing something I used to do like breathing

this inability to hit the strike zone is beyond mere practice

I need a psychiatrist not a pitching coach

why am I afraid to attack the batter?

what am I afraid of?

am I having too much fun playing that I forgot how to play?

cause, if there’s one thing nineteen years without playing has given me

is the feeling of what it’s like not to play

and it feels dull

and if this has done anything for my game

it has sharpened my smile

even at tossing ball four

cause I now know

bad baseball is better




at all.

8 thoughts on “I’ve Lost Control

  1. Steven Myers

    writing while under blue jay influence is a noble offense
    especially when in need of pitching.
    ya gotta figure some of them AAA bats being so highly praised
    are gonna be dealt for pitchers who will wear smiles on their faces
    when they scan the dugout and see batters 1-9. impressive!
    2013? or maybe a playoff sneak in this year wild card with a starting staff healthy turnaround.

    1. cottonbombs Post author

      The Jays obviously need pitching way more than hitting. Though when you lose 6-0, you need both. Maybe it’d be fair to trade Travis Snider for a good arm. Though, I’m a fan of Snider, I think it’s only fair to give him a chance to play every day, even if it’s for another club. I don’t see The Jays sneaking in this year with all the injuries. But, sure, a healthy Jays team is a dangerous Jays team.

      1. Steven Myers

        i’m on board trading detective snider if they can showcase him awhile as a jay and raise his value in order to get more than an innings eater for him.

      2. cottonbombs Post author

        Maybe we were a bit premature with Snider. He’s up now and looking great. Going to the game tonight, let’s hope the Jays can take the steam out of the A’s.

      3. Steven Myers

        alright! have a great game tonight! the a’s pitching never stops. freaking factory, but then again all that foul territory in the oakland coliseum is like a double play for pitchers. i’m still gearing up for august and the jays to do some dumping on the rangers.

      4. cottonbombs Post author

        I guess you heard but the Jays lost 7-2. Then got their worst whooping yesterday, 16-0. So, of course they win today, 10-4, because you can’t keep a good team down that long. And, I’m looking forward to our trip to Rogers Centre in August. Let’s hope we see a better game than the one I saw Tuesday.

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