This Poem Placed Third In a Bad Poetry Contest

On a need to know basis

no one who was born of jello molds

needs to know what they don’t need to know

until fiery whooping cranes came

swooping in to parking spots usually reserved for the handicap

or as we now call them: corkscrews for sunsets

that never taste of cranberry sauce

stuffed with turkeys based in military prisons

never pardoned for the the crime of being born delicious

and flightless

the eagle may be powerful

the symbol of nations

but it might also be delicious, we’ll never know

it always flew away before we could shoot it and eat it

Franklin proposed the turkey as America’s national bird

because he knew how good they tasted

making history with mash potatoes and gravy

and a side of insanity

Happy Thanks-taking

we say taking aim at the future

the eagle flies away

so let’s shoot this turkey

and call it victory.


8 thoughts on “This Poem Placed Third In a Bad Poetry Contest

    1. cottonbombs Post author

      I don’t wanna brag, but, this poem was nominated as the Greatest Random Tish of the 21st Century. Granted, the 21st Century is currently the shortest of all Centuries, and granted it placed third on The Greatest Random Tish List of all time, losing out to a poem entitled: Moist Midgets by some guy who wrote English in his fourth language, and a someone who wrote the alphabet backwards from z to a and submitted it as poem entitled: Dyslexic Mirrors.

      1. cottonbombs Post author

        I know my accomplishments in the Random Tish Department can be a little overwhelming. I also know that The Random Tish Department is funded by the Bhutanese mafia, and so, I show up to their Awards Shows, but, I don’t feel like smiling at the camera.

  1. granbee

    Oh, Peter, you have touched this ol’ bird-loving granbee’s heart with talk about shooting either eagles or turkeys. And you are right: poetry contest judges mostly do not want to be confronted with inhumane actions to wild or domestic fowl! You have such enviable control over your emotions when composing these farcical poems that tell so much more truth about who we are collectively than all the newspapers on earth.

    1. cottonbombs Post author

      Rose! I don’t know what I was going for here. All I know was that I wanted to try and write the most ridiculous poem I’ve ever written and I thank you for finding even a single line’s worth of meaning from it. It means a lot to me.


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