Swearing on a Jefferson Bible


the missing link

between the big bang

and creationism

between Divine design

and Darwinism

and Jefferson took out all the miracles from his Bible

yet he still called Jesus: He

Jefferson edited a Bible Sergeant Joe Friday woulda loved

just the facts, ma’am

the Jefferson Bible is more believable

but I enter each church like I enter each theater

with a suspension of disbelief

The Jefferson Bible misses all the magic

like watching Avatar on your cellphone

but don’t you just love the miracle itself

that you can watch movies on your phone

while taking pictures of yourself watching the movie

while posting pictures

for the whole world to see

if Jesus had a cellphone

Thomas Jefferson wouldn’t have believed it.


10 thoughts on “Swearing on a Jefferson Bible

  1. Steven Myers

    jefferson one of the original cut and pasters
    still dreaming of states wearing different hoods.
    i think you’re right… jefferson would be sighing and ughhhing in disbelief at technopolos,
    and dreaming of an anonymous taoist mountain village or a nazareth equivalent.

    1. cottonbombs Post author

      I just stumbled upon the idea of the Jefferson Bible watching Stephen Colbert who refrenced it. I did some research and had no idea that my beliefs are so close to Jefferson’s. I mean, besides the belief that it’s ok to keep slaves.

  2. Joana Guiro

    I liked this one here, the twist you did at the end made me laugh! haha
    I’ve always learnt at class to trust just in facts and this fight between creationism and evolutionism is always popping up into conversations there. I truly trust in evolutionism, but it doesn’t turn me into a God hater. I also believe in God, but I kind of see the bible like books for kids. As you read The little prince you know that the fox can’t talk to the little prince, but you take “the essential is invisible to the eye” as the story’s moral.

    1. cottonbombs Post author

      Joana! Thank you for your thoughtful comment. I also trust in evolution and I trust in God. I don’t see why the two need to be read from separate books.I like your take on the Little Prince!

    1. cottonbombs Post author

      Rose! I thought this might not be your favorite. I was fascinated to read of Jefferson’s thoughts on religion and church and state. I’d bet you’d want the miracles put back in.

  3. Betty Hayes Albright

    Imaginative – and probably an accurate take on Jefferson’s bible!
    (My opinion on just one aspect of your poem: I’ve always seen “divine design” as co-existent with evolution. In fact, evolution IS the divine design – not just for earth creatures, but for the whole universe. But then I think you’re already seeing this. 🙂 )


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