When Horoscopes Lie

According to the Metro newspaper

today was supposed to be a 10 out of 10 for me

10 out of 10.

A perfect day they promised me today.

I read my horoscope on my way to work

10 outta 10

I thought I could do no wrong

I shouldn’t even try.

Sitting here now at midnight

I wouldn’t give the day any higher than a 6.

I gave in to that simple human conceit

of trying.

I slipped on some ice

(though I was wise enough to give in to the fall)

I poured sour milk in my coffee and it took me five or six sips to figure that out

and now I’ve officially got heartburn.

I’ve had better 10s.

And it wouldn’t be so hard to take

If they hadn’t gotten my spirits up so high.

I never shoulda gotten off that bus.


8 thoughts on “When Horoscopes Lie

  1. reader

    Hi Peter,could you run your fingers through the keyboard – is there anything for “losers”? I have had a terrible day…

  2. granbee

    Peter, your “6” days ARE “10s” for a lot of poor souls, you know! Surely to goodness, you KNOW this! Oh, I get it–you are goofing around with us again, right? Tsk,tsk.

    1. cottonbombs Post author

      Rose! Leave it to you to remind me of how fortunate I am to write off such a day as a ‘6’. You are absolutely right in calling me on my lack of gratitude for a day that seriously could have been nightmarishly worse. Thank you for reminding me of how lucky I have it.

    1. cottonbombs Post author

      Betty! Lie? Lies are intentional. Worse, they just make it all up and expect us to follow along. We all should really get together and file a class action suit against all these so called fortune tellers.


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