Announcer: When we last left off, (June 26) Eve had just signed her children over to Mr. Satan, in the midst of giving birth to them.
Mr. Satan: Push, Eve, push harder.
Adam: No, pull, Eve! Pull! Wait! Don’t let him touch them first!
Eve: This is your fault! You’re the one who ratted me out to your father!
Mr. Satan: Eve. We need you to focus. Push.
Adam: Pull! Eve, pull!
Eve: I’m not pulling! Are you crazy! I need these out of me!
Mr. Satan: [Delivering the baby] It’s a boy!
Adam: [Pointing at the umbilical cord.] Looks like you’re stuck with him forever, hon.
Mr. Satan: [Cutting cord, offering the baby to Adam] Remember, finders keepers and I touched him first.
Adam: Well, then, you keep him, cause, I’m touching the next one first.
Mr. Satan: Take the baby back, I’m getting the next one, too. Come on, take him. I’ll drop him.
Adam: Ok, one big push now, hon.
Eve: I’m going to push you off a cliff, I swear to your father!
[Adam helps Eve deliver their second son, while Mr. Satan stands holding their first.]
Adam: What do you want to name our sons, love?
Eve: Look, just shut up for a while, I just delivered twins, I wish I was able.
Adam: Abel! Yes, our son here shall be Abel!
Mr. Satan: [Rocking the baby in his arms.] I’m calling this baby, Satan Junior.
Adam: Like hell!
Mr. Satan: Exactly like it. Dead on. Just like hell.
Adam: Honey, get up, I need your help naming the kid. You don’t want your kid growing up called, Satan Junior, do you?
Eve: I can’t stand without a cane.
Adam: You wanna call him, Cain?
Eve: I don’t care, I need pills, ask Lucy Loo for some more pills.
Adam: I kinda got in to a fight with him over baby Abel.
Eve: Just get the damn pills!
Mr. Satan: I heard, and I’ll give you the pills on condition you let me play with your children.
Eve: Play, dance, write poetry, yoga with them all you like, just give me pills!
Mr. Satan: Here. [Mr. Satan feeds Eve a pill.]
Adam: How about me? Can I get some pills, please?
Mr. Satan: Kiss me.
Adam: Excuse me?
Mr. Satan: You want some pills, kiss me. One pill one kiss. French kissing gets you two pills at a time.
Adam: Maybe there’s another form of payment, debit, or…?
Mr. Satan: Nope, today, I accept kisses only.
Adam: [Looks to Eve, passed out.] Ok, but don’t tell Eve.
Mr. Satan: It’ll be our little secret. Come here, big boy.
Adam: How many pills I get if I french kiss you five seconds?
Mr. Satan: Five.
Adam: Ok, let’s do this. [They kiss. Adam pulls away, touching his lower lip.] Ouch! What the hell! You bit me!
Eve: [Opening her eyes at the sound of Adam’s cry.] What happened?
Eve: Your lip is bleeding.
Adam: No it’s not, it’s ketchup.
Mr. Satan: I’m going to make some cocktails.
Eve: You kissed Lucy.
Adam: How could you know? You were passed out.
Eve: It’s written all over your face.
Adam: It’s written all over yours.
Eve: You say that’s ketchup?
Adam: Yeah, it’s ketchup.
Eve: I believe you.
Adam: I believe you believe me.
Mr. Satan: [Handing them highball glasses] Cheers to believing in each other.
Adam: [Looking away from Eve] Cheers.
Eve: [Looking away from Adam] Cheers.
Announcer: Do they continue to choose to believe in something they know is a lie, or do they choose to speak the truth? Tune in for another episode of The Book of Genesis: The Soap Opera!