I Have a Wonderful Wife and Three Alright Children

The following is from a personal column posted on Ashley Madison dating website. Ashley Madison is an agency set up to hook up married people who are looking to cheat. Its slogan: Life is Short. Have an affair.

I’ve been happily married for two years and unhappily married for five. I am 5′ 1”, 235 lbs. People say I look like Marlon Brando in Superman. I’m 31 years old. I have a great job and three alright children. As a whole they are alright, but my youngest daughter carries the other two. My son and other daughter have been so damaged by their mother, that I can’t even look at them. I’m looking for someone who can make me forget I’m a father of two losers. All they know is video games, and they’re not even good at them, seeing as I beat them all the time. I’m looking for someone who maybe wants to vent about their failures of children and parenting, though, I blame the children more than the parenting. I enjoy opera and dressing up as Wagnerian characters and fucking. Let me show you my version of The Ride of the Valkyries. Don’t worry, I’ll supply the saddle and the horse. If interested, please contact…

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