Pam: Hello, boys and girls! and welcome to Tickletown! Today on the show we’re going to go on all sorts of adventures, and learn how to count to three, and maybe get a visit from a surprise guest or two! Oh! Here’s one now! Hello there, Mr. Platypus! How are you today?
Mr. Platypus: Hello, Pam! Not so good, that’s why I came to Tickletown. I need you to tickle me until you make all the monsters in my head go away.
Pam: Well, lie down on Sofie Sofa and let’s diagnose you.
Sofie Sofa: Sit down, big boy and tell us all your wildest fantasies!
Mr. Platypus: If you don’t mind, Pam, I’ve already got enough to deal with, it’s hard enough to tell you without having to sit on a talking couch.
Pam: Fine, we can diagnose you standing up. Tell us, what do you feel is your biggest problem?
Mr. Platypus: I have monsters in my head.
Pam: What monsters? What do they look like?
Mr. Platypus: Like monsters, what you don’t know what monsters look like? You can’t tell a monster from a squirrel?
Pam: Can you tell us a little bit about the monsters?
Mr. Platypus: They look freakish, like monsters. They have the face of a duck. the body of a beaver, and the feet of a duck. Terrifying.
Pam: You’re describing yourself, Mr. Platypus.
Mr. Platypus: But, I’m a platypus! I said they have the face of a duck.
Pam: You have a face of a duck.
Mr. Platypus: You think I have a duck face?
Pam: Have you looked in a mirror lately?
Mr. Platypus: I just see me.
Pam: But, are you seeing the real you, or, just the you you want to see?
Mr. Platypus: Looks like the real me to me.
Pam: [Holding up mirror] Describe what you see.
Mr. Platypus: One good looking platypus. [Mr. Platypus smiles for the first time all day.]
Pam: Describe your nose.
Mr. Platypus: I don’t have a nose, I have a bill.
Pam: Describe your feet.
Mr. Platypus: I don’t have feet, I have webbing.
Pam: Webbing, a bill, you’re describing a duck.
Mr. Platypus: Are you saying, if it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, I’m a platypus?
Pam: Yes! And you’re your own worst nightmare!
Mr. Platypus: I am? I’m cured! Thanks, Pam! [Exit Mr. Platypus.]
Pam: Yes, and let that be a lesson to all you boys and girls out there: you are your own monster! Oh! And speaking of monsters, if it isn’t Mr. The End!