* Paul Revere rollerbladed through Boston wearing a sandwich board warning the British were coming. THE BRITISH ARE COMING, it said one one side, and, DRINK SAM ADAMS BEER on the other.
* The Wright Brothers invented Olympic ski jumping. Orville placed first, Wilber, second in the 1903 Olympics in Kittyhawk, North Carolina.
* Julius Caesar’s final words were: “Make me a salad!”
* Boston Red Sox fans assassinated John F. Kennedy, in a bid to break the curse of the Bambino.
* Gandhi used to sneak jello pudding pops during his ‘hunger strikes’.
* John Lennon is the love child of V.I. Lenin and he just changed his name out of embarrassment. ‘Back In The U.S.S.R,’ and ‘Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except For Me and My Monkey,’ are both about his dad. And if you play ‘I Wanna Hold Your Hand’ backwards you can hear John reading from The Communist Manifesto.
* Napoleon invented strawberry ice cream, declared it the greatest flavor ever, put it next to chocolate and vanilla and started taking over other countries to do taste tests.
* Peter the Great was only Peter the So So to his wife and mistresses.
* Elizabeth I, The Virgin Queen, was the biggest slut to take the throne since Richard The Horny, in 1342.
* Julius Caesar gave us, July, Augustus gave us, August, and The Marquis de Sade gave us January and February.
* Australia was colonized by English convicts.