History Is What You Make It

*  Paul Revere rollerbladed through Boston wearing a sandwich board warning the British were coming. THE BRITISH ARE COMING, it said one one side, and, DRINK SAM ADAMS BEER on the other.

*  The Wright Brothers invented Olympic ski jumping. Orville placed first, Wilber, second in the 1903 Olympics in Kittyhawk, North Carolina.

*  Julius Caesar’s final words were: “Make me a salad!”

*  Boston Red Sox fans assassinated John F. Kennedy, in a bid to break the curse of the Bambino.

*  Gandhi used to sneak jello pudding pops during his ‘hunger strikes’.

*  John Lennon is the love child of V.I. Lenin and he just changed his name out of embarrassment. ‘Back In The U.S.S.R,’ and ‘Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except For Me and My Monkey,’ are both about his dad. And if you play ‘I Wanna Hold Your Hand’ backwards you can hear John reading from The Communist Manifesto.

*  Napoleon invented strawberry ice cream, declared it the greatest flavor ever, put it next to chocolate and vanilla and started taking over other countries to do taste tests.

*  Peter the Great was only Peter the So So to his wife and mistresses.

*  Elizabeth I, The Virgin Queen, was the biggest slut to take the throne since Richard The Horny, in 1342.

*  Julius Caesar gave us, July, Augustus gave us, August, and The Marquis de Sade gave us January and February.

*  Australia was colonized by English convicts.

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3 thoughts on “History Is What You Make It

  1. i-Pod

    Yes. I agree with you.
    History has been made by someone’s choice at the moment.
    Sometimes it is considered being made by universe or a creator,
    but sometimes I think just an accident makes history as well as one’s choice,
    like I decided to go to ESL school, got information about Hansa from my friend’s friend by chance,
    and someone recommended me to take a trial lesson, and I chose to take trial lesson at your class
    because there were no options at that time, so I could register for your class.
    That’s why we need wisdom to choose better way for the good future, I think.
    Anyway, how are you doing?

    Reply
    1. cottonbombs Post author

      Hi! I don’t know who I’m writing to, but, thank you, I’m doing well. I hope you enjoyed the class, and got some knowledge to turn into wisdom later on, cause, wisdom = knowledge + experience. History is overrated.

      Reply
  2. i-Pod

    Yes, most historic events were likely to happen by chance,
    but people try to put significant meanings on that.
    I wish I could talk with you more at Hansa.
    Anyway Nice to talk to you!
    감사합니다!

    Reply

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