Eating Sacred Cows

Koreans have three languages. They speak Korean, English and Konglish, which is a bastardization of English and Korean. Like, for ‘browsing,’ we’ll say, “window shopping,” Korean’s will call it, “eye shopping.” Or, we call dog, “man’s best friend,” they call it, “lunch.” It’s all personal taste.

Some are offended by that. “Oh, you can’t eat a dog! It’s part of the family!”

Really? The dog is part of the family? Did you let Grandma shed on the couch? Did you put Grandma down after one accident too many?

And don’t you know every time you bite into a sirloin steak some little Hindu in India loses his wings?

Eating steak to a Hindu is like eating God. “How dare you diet on my diety! Do I go to the church, pull Jesus off the cross and bite off his head? Umm, this is delicious Jesus! Have you tried the Baby Jesus back ribs?”

We need to accept that one man’s pet is another man’s appetizer. This I have no problem with.

I do, however, have a problem eating bugs. A lot of people, don’t, including the nice Korean woman who was so excited to have three Canadians drinking at her little restaurant, that she ran back to the kitchen to prepare us a nice snack. When she returned, she presented us a bowl of bugs. A bowl of deep fried grasshoppers.

“Service! Service!” she says, Konglish for, ‘on the house’.

Being polite Canadians, we each dip our hands into the bowl of deep fried grasshoppers, thinking, ‘You don’t have french fries?’

Then, in the middle of the bowl of grasshoppers, I find an ant, a black ant and now I’m wondering, ‘Is this some rogue ant that found its way into the bowl, or, is this Korean trail mix?’


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