Was Lot’s Wife Worth Her Weight In Salt?

The tv had had enough. It was bored of the Roger Show. It wanted to change channels, yet, it didn’t have power of the remote. Roger had the control.

“Hey, get up and do something! You’re boring!” the tv shouted at the static Roger.

Roger sat up on the couch. He had drunk a lot of beer, so, he wasn’t sure if he’d heard the tv right. The last line seemed separate from the show. It sounded personal. Roger was too drunk to care if anyone was listening when he asked the television, “Were you talking to me?”

“Yeah, I’m talking to you. Do something, would you? You’re boring. I have to sit here night after night watching you doing nothing. You never bring people home, you’re always sitting there, guzzling your beer; I sit here watching you get progressively sleepy. Then you pass out, and it’s the end of another exciting episode of the Roger Show. Man, your show sucks! Mix it up a bit!” The tv went to green screen to get Roger to focus.

“Hey! Bring back the game!”

“What game were you watching?”

“A football game!”

“Who was playing?”

“Two teams.”

“What are their names?”

“They were college teams.”

“What college teams?” the tv tested him.

“Just put on the game!”

“See? You don’t even know what you’re watching!”

“I just like football!”

“You’re an idiot, do you know that? No, of course not, cause you’re idiot. You call me, “the idiot box.” You’re watching me, who’s the idiot?”

“Just put the game back on!”

“Do a pushup, do a somersault, light the couch on fire, do something!”

Roger pressed every button on his remote to no avail, the tv never changed from its green screen. Eventually Roger gave up, got up from the couch, picked up the closest bit of technology, his phone, and called his mother to ask if he could come over for dinner. His mother said, no, not tonight, she was washing her hair.

Roger gave up trying to communicate with the outside world, and sat back down to watch three more hours of the green screen till passing out, dreaming in commercials. In one dream he would be sold as a Shamrock Shake and drunk by his mother.

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One thought on “Was Lot’s Wife Worth Her Weight In Salt?

  1. Markus

    Hi,
    was nice meeting you yesterday in the subway. Like this story a lot and if you ever wrote a short story, you think you could see as a short film, let me know. Could be an interesting collaboration
    best,
    Markus

    Reply

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