Buck the Currency

America’s money scares me. I don’t mean their international debt they parade as wealth. I mean their physical manifestation of the Almighty Dollar, the dollar bill. It’s got a picture of George Washington, sure, but, it’s also got a picture of the eye of God watching you, that’s really a Mason symbol telling you the Masons are God and they’re watching you. In God We Trust. It’s like an act of faith, a religious ceremony every time money exchanges hands. A symbol that we’re all buying in on the idea that value is measured in paper printed by the U.S. Treasury Department. God bless em!

The Canadian dollar is way more playful. First of all, it’s called the Loonie. Do you realize we are selling our currency on the world markets named after a crazy person? Do you know how that makes us look? Hilarious! Like, right now people in business suits are screaming at each other in stock markets around the world, buying and selling every currency from the Dollar, to the Yen, to the Peso, the Euro, the Ruble and the Loonie. We are openly declaring our currency insane. You wanna buy a loonie? How bout a twonie? Loonie Twonie. And we wonder why we traded so low for so long; who do you think wants to buy a loonie? We sell our currency like Crazy Eddie sells pants.

What’s most fun is the Canadian Five Dollar Bill. Have you given it a good look? Not the side with Laurier, flip it over to see children enjoying tobagganing, skating and hockey. Carefully, of course, they’re all wearing helmets.

Right under a father skating hand-in-hand with his son, are the words (En Francais/In English):

The winters of my childhood were long long seasons. We lived in three places- the school, the church, and the skating rink- but our real life was on the skating rink.

Basically we’re declaring to the world that given choice between education, God and hockey, we choose hockey.

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