A Menu of Crazy.

We’ve got a phobia for everything. The whole human condition is mapped out in a textbook of phobias. Here are some of my favorites:

Phobophobia:  The fear of phobias. That’s when you know you’re crazy, when you can’t just focus on one phobia, but fear all phobias. This is the Horn of Plenty of insanity.

Anuptaphobia: The fear of staying single. Don’t we all have this fear? Isn’t Facebook and Lavalife built on this very phobia?

Ablutophobia: The fear of bathing. What? You’re afraid of soap and water? And, Stinky, if you’ve got Anuptaphobia along with Ablutophobia, something’s gotta give.

Agateophobia: The fear of insanity. This is the medical term for a self-fulfilling prophecy to be crazy.

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia:  The fear of long words. Now, this is just not fair; how are these sufferers ever going to get better when they can never pronounce their very fear?

My fear? I’m afraid I’m not afraid. Nietzsche’s right, we pick our illnesses.

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