Category Archives: Uncategorized

The American Declaration of Independence states that happiness is to be pursued. There’s no mention of what you’re supposed to do when you catch it. I just set it free so I can chase it again.

Have you ever met your idol? Think right now of the one person you most want to meet in the history of the universe. Jesus, Buddha, Einstein, who would it be for you? I met that person. I was eleven … Continue reading →

I am in the only field where being a white male is a disadvantage: comedian. For any other job it doesn’t hurt to be white: President, Pope, serial killer, it’s all advantageous to be white, but not comedian. If you’re … Continue reading →

Chuck:  Welcome back! Ok, we’re down to our final two competitors. Wendy, Arnod, congrats for making it this far, however, only one of you can win, so how you do in this final round will determine who is going home … Continue reading →

“What do you get the guy who’s got everything?” Jonah said aloud to himself, his recently adopted mantra. His older brother, Robert’s birthday was tomorrow, and Jonah had been fretting for weeks over the gift. He had to get Robert the perfect … Continue reading →

We’re plundering the earth like pirates slash and burn till the dead return the value we put on diamonds and gold it’s easier to dig in the earth than into your soul the window into the eyes of God and … Continue reading →

* Get a giant statue of Michael Jackson, much like Rio’s giant Christ. Why not? Michael Jackson played Toronto way more than Jesus played Rio. And who’s bigger right now? If Jesus and Michael Jackson came back tomorrow, who do … Continue reading →

Darth Vader:  Luke, why won’t you fight me? Luke:  Look at the lightsabers, man! Watch! Voom! Voom! Aren’t they pretty? They’re the coolest glow sticks ever! They make me want to dance! Move my body! Darth Vader:  If you will … Continue reading →

I think Independence Day is the ultimate Hollywood juggernaut. That movie marks its American turf better than all others, both in terms of message and worldwide commercial success. The movie is more than just metaphor of America’s own fight for independence, with the … Continue reading →

The following is from a personal column posted on Ashley Madison dating website. Ashley Madison is an agency set up to hook up married people who are looking to cheat. Its slogan: Life is Short. Have an affair. I’ve been … Continue reading →