Category Archives: Quick Hits

*  I just had deja vu, but in reverse: I had deja vu that I’m going to have deja vu. *  I’m in a complicated relationship. If I was a home, I’d be a semi-detached. *  I use a disposable … Continue reading →

*  I saw a bumper sticker: I BREAK FOR JESUS. What does that mean? You run over everybody else? Look! There’s The Buddha! When you see the Buddha, run over the Buddha! *  I read LSD can help cure alcoholism. … Continue reading →

*  Paul Revere rollerbladed through Boston wearing a sandwich board warning the British were coming. THE BRITISH ARE COMING, it said one one side, and, DRINK SAM ADAMS BEER on the other. *  The Wright Brothers invented Olympic ski jumping. … Continue reading →

*  Have you noticed the two things the News constantly gets wrong: the weather and lottery numbers? *  Have you ever felt life is a poem and your name is, Orange and you don’t rhyme with anything? *  I’m on … Continue reading →

*  Ever been so high, you stood on an escalator a full minute before realising it’s broken? *  Ever been so high you can’t tell if the skunk smell is coming from outside or inside your apartment? *  Ever been … Continue reading →

* When I get violently ill, I start punching doctors. * Those who live in glass houses should buy curtains. * Have you ever been put on hold during phone sex? *  (From the Memories of Vietnam Series:) Think Snakes … Continue reading →

  * I see beauty on the inside, so I really don’t mind you’re ugly. * You remind me of my mom and my dad. And the dead body in my trunk. * Wanna get back at your parents for giving … Continue reading →

What do you call an Italian guy from Newfoundland who drinks a lot?         Please send in your punchlines. The best will be posted tomorrow. **** According to my History book, the bottle-opener was invented Apr. 15, 1738. So, what did they … Continue reading →

…. Haiku for Black: My Favorite Shade. All is the new you. Comedy to funerals, you match everything. ….                                                                                                                                                    …. In Love With Vito Corleone Dating you is like dating the mafia; just when I think I’m out, you pull … Continue reading →